PDF Ebook , by Paul Kalanithi Abraham Verghese
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, by Paul Kalanithi Abraham Verghese
PDF Ebook , by Paul Kalanithi Abraham Verghese
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Product details
File Size: 2902 KB
Print Length: 231 pages
Publisher: Random House; 1 edition (January 12, 2016)
Publication Date: January 12, 2016
Sold by: Random House LLC
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0812988418
ISBN-13: 978-0812988413
ASIN: B00XSSYR50
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#669 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
This is a marvelous memoir and a generous sharing. The real subject of this book is not (just) cancer, or even death, but time: how we perceive it, how we use it and understand it. Paul Kalanithi is at his best when he is writing about how time changes, and the struggle to decide how best to use one's time when there is very little left, and most particularly, when you don't even know how much may be left. This is the condition that effects us all, whether, like the author, he is a stupendously accomplished and ambitious individual, or whether we are simply coming to the end of an ordinary life filled with ordinary achievements and regrets.Abraham Verghese wrote the forward, and spoke so glowingly that he damned, not with faint praise but rather the opposite. Expectations were set so high for what was to follow. And, entering the book, the first chapters, I confess to being disappointed. The author's voice seemed so self concerned, and his dilemma regarding whether to pursue the study of literature or medicine was one that so many of us have experienced that I wondered what about his story was really worth the telling. And then, he started into his account of med school, the anatomy lab, the first experiences with birth and death. And here, he really hit his stride. I found myself getting up and going to another room after my husband had gone to sleep because I just had to read on.Finally, in the passages where he explored the process of coming to terms with limited time, and the decision about what to do with it, he found the material that really makes his memoir a unique and valuable contribution. Several times he quoted Beckett: "I can't go on. I'll go on" . In this quotation he found his answer to what to do with the rest of his life. The choice is to despair, to sit in a chair and do nothing since nothing has meaning, or to seize upon something, which might or might not come to fruition, might or might not be successful or well received, and to persist. He chose to persist in the thing he had wanted to do, and perhaps the only thing he could do once his physical strength ebbed: the writing of this book. The fact of this choice is as much as the memoir itself a kind of guidepost for us as we all come to these same decisions, sooner or later.
I read this book in one sitting, long after the lights should have been turned off. I felt like not doing so would have been a disservice to Paul Kalanithi. After reading the book I felt stunned and hopeful in equal parts. Stunned because of the realization that someone as prodigiously talented and eloquent as Dr. Kalanithi was taken from the world at such an early age. Hopeful because even in his brief life of thirty-seven years he showcased what we as human beings are capable of in our best incarnations. His family can rest assured that he will live on through his book.When Breath Becomes Air details Dr. Kalanithi's life as a neurosurgeon and his fight against advanced lung cancer. Even in his short life he achieved noteworthy recognition as a scholar, a surgeon, a scientist and now - posthumously - as a writer. The book is a tale of tribulations and frank reflections. Ultimately there's not much triumph in it in the traditional sense but there is a dogged, quiet resilience and a frank earthiness that endures long after the last word appears. The tribulations occur in both Dr. Kalanithi's stellar career and his refusal to give in to the illness which ultimately consumed him.The first part of the book could almost stand separately as an outstanding account of the coming of age of a neurosurgeon and writer. Dr. Kalanithi talks about his upbringing as the child of hardworking Indian immigrant parents and his tenacious and passionate espousal of medicine and literature. He speaks lovingly of his relationship with his remarkable wife - also a doctor - who he met in medical school and who played an outsized role in supporting him through everything he went through. He had a stunning and multifaceted career, studying biology and literature at Stanford, then history and philosophy of medicine at Cambridge, and finally neurosurgery at Yale.Along the way he became not just a neurosurgeon who worked grueling hours and tried to glimpse the very soul of his discipline, but also an eloquent writer. The mark of a man of letters is evident everywhere in the book, and quotes from Eliot, Beckett, Pope and Shakespeare make frequent appearances. Accounts of how Dr. Kalanithi wrested with walking the line between objective medicine and compassionate humanity when it came to treating his patients give us an inside view of medicine as practiced at its most intimate level. Metaphors abound and the prose often soars: When describing how important it is to develop good surgical technique, he tells us that "Technical excellence was a moral requirement"; meanwhile, the overwhelming stress of late night shifts, hundred hour weeks and patients with acute trauma made him occasionally feel like he was "trapped in an endless jungle summer, wet with sweat, the rain of tears of the dying pouring down". This is writing that comes not from the brain or from the heart, but from the gut. When we lost Dr. Kalanithi we lost not only a great doctor but a great writer spun from the same cloth as Oliver Sacks and Atul Gawande.It is in the second part of the book that the devastating tide of disease and death creeps in, even as Dr. Kalanithi is suddenly transformed from a doctor into a patient. It must be slightly bizarre to be on the other side of the mirror and intimately know everything that is happening to your body and Dr. Kalanithi is brutally frank in communicating his disbelief, his tears, his hope and his understanding of his fatal disease. It's worth noting that this candid recognition permeates the entire account. Science mingles with emotion as compassionate doctors, family and a battery of medications and tests become a mainstay of life. The painful uncertainty which he documents - in particular the tyranny of statistics which makes it impossible to predict how a specific individual will react to cancer therapy - must sadly be familiar to anyone who has had experience with the disease. As he says, "One has a very different relationship with statistics when one becomes one". There are heartbreaking descriptions of how at one point the cancer seemed to have almost disappeared and how, after Dr. Kalanithi had again cautiously made plans for a hopeful future with his wife, it returned with a vengeance and he had to finally stop working. There is no bravado in the story; as he says, the tumor was what it was and you simply experienced the feelings it brought to your mind and heart.What makes the book so valuable is this ready admission of what terminal disease feels like, especially an admission that is nonetheless infused with wise acceptance, hope and a tenacious desire to live, work and love normally. In spite of the diagnosis Dr. Kalanithi tries very hard - and succeeds admirably - to live a normal life. He returns to his surgery, he spends time with his family and most importantly, he decides to have a child with his wife. In his everyday struggles is seen a chronicle of the struggles that we will all face in some regard, and which thousands of people face on a daily basis. His constant partner in this struggle is his exemplary wife Lucy, whose epilogue is almost as eloquent as his own writing; I really hope that she picks up the baton where he left off.As Lucy tells us in the epilogue, this is not some simple tale of a man who somehow "beats" a disease by refusing to give up. It's certainly that, but it's much more because it's a very human tale of failure and fear, of uncertainty and despair, of cynicism and anger. And yes, it is also a tale of scientific understanding, of battling a disease even in the face of uncertainty, of poetry and philosophy, of love and family, and of bequeathing a legacy to a two year old daughter who will soon understand the kind of man her father was and the heritage he left behind. It's as good a testament to Dr. Kalanithi's favorite Beckett quote as anything I can think of: "I can't go on. I will go on".Read this book; it's devastating and heartbreaking, inspiring and edifying. Most importantly, it's real.
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